Do you find it hard to say no?
Do you automatically say yes to everything? You are not alone!
Why do we find it hard to say no?
We like to be LIKED, we like to be HELPFUL, we like to be APPRECIATED.
In other words, we are PEOPLE PLEASERS.
This is not a bad thing, BUT it can lead to overwhelm, exhaustion and in some instances feeling resentful towards others.
Consider this:
Saying NO creates space for you to say YES to something that you really want to do.
Something that supports your priorities in life.
Something that supports your goals, be it a personal goal, a family goal or work-related goal.
Saying NO allows you to free up some time to take care of yourself.
But HOW do you say NO?
I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy and it takes practice. However, it becomes so much easier to say NO when you are clear about
- What matters to you.
- Your boundaries (work, personal, family).
- What your top values, goals and priorities are.
Set some time aside
I really do you encourage you to set some time aside to think about all of the above. Write everything down. Keep it somewhere you can refer to when needed, i.e. when someone is asking you to do something!
MY 3 TOP TIPS FOR SAYING NO
Tip 1
When someone asks you to do something / invites you to something, DON’T give an immediate response Say you’ll check your diary and get back to them (or whatever you want to say that feels right to you BUT gives you the opportunity to go away and think about it)
Remember, it’s not all about checking if you are available. It’s about taking the time to remind yourself of what matters to you, your goals, your priorities, before giving a response.
Tip 2
When you do get back to them, REMEMBER: It is NOT your role to control the persons, reaction or response. YOUR role is to give the message in a precise and respectful manner.
Tip 3
Get comfortable being uncomfortable!
When you start saying no for the first time, you may feel uncomfortable, guilty, embarrassed, selfish….. BUT trust me when I say that it does get easier, so keep practising and before long you’ll be saying no without even thinking about it!